Tags
7 times, always moving, beat the demon, beat them, boxes, childhood, childhood home, dealing, fight them, innerdemon, keep fighting, memories, Moving demon, stability
I kind of feel awkward when I say to people that I’ve moved around 7 times and I am only 20 and now, I’m staring down the barrel of another move. If my relationship works out and keeps going the way that it is, then I’m probably going to be moving out within a year, which means that Christmas next year I’ll probably be living in my own flat with my boyfriend.
The reason I feel awkward is because when I say I’ve moved around a lot, most people come back with the same answer ‘oh I haven’t’ or ‘I grew up in the same house all my life’. I do envy that because they obviously have special memories of their homes and marks from where they grew in height or scuffs in places where they have hit themselves. Well I don’t really have that. I can’t walk down a hallway and think, I remember my childhood in this place because if I did that I’d probably be arrested for breaking and entering.
Moving around a lot has kind of made me feel like I don’t really have a properly stable place to live because I am always expecting to be moved again. I am so used to moving now that even after living in my current flat for two years with my family, I still have things under my bed that are in boxes.
This demon makes me want to give to my future children (if I have any) something that I never had – I want to give them a stable house where they can grow up in for the rest of their lives. I don’t want them to have to move around as much as I have before they reached adulthood. I always thought that once I reached adulthood I’d have to move once or twice before I found the perfect place to settle down, but I’ve had to move 7 times just with my family and I worry if I’m going to end up like my mum, never happy with where I live.
I’m just waiting for the day that my mum phones me up and says she’s flipped the current flat and swapped it for another because she hated it for this reason or another – normally it is about the kitchen size because I know it is going to happen and I know that I will get that call one day, I just hope I get it once I have moved out.
This demon doesn’t bother me all the time and I’m sure he’ll go once I’m settled myself, but I want my children to have the childhood home I don’t have.
But in the mean time, let’s keep fighting them demons!